I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

I'm not really a fan of talking about feelings or something that's troubling me. I much prefer to be an ear or a shoulder for someone else and their worries, its where my comfort zone is at.

When it comes to talking about things that make me feel down or unhappy, its not really a case of bottling it up and not dealing with it, it's just that I don't always find that talking about it works for me.

I remember hearing a character called Ephram in the programme Everwood use this quote to describe overcoming grief and it's something that I like to remind myself of when something makes me feel a bit crappy.

"Like if you busted your right hand, you figure out how to use the left one. And sure, you might resist for a while because you're pissed off that you have to learn all this stuff again that nobody else does. Eventually your body takes over and figures it out for you, and your glad, because if it was up to you…you'd look at your broken hand forever and try to figure out what it was like before"

I'm not dealing with the loss of a loved one or a busted hand but I like to trust my body and my mind to look after me. I get a bit down after interviews when I don't get the job or when there is a bit of a lull in things to apply for or a long line of no 'thank you' and it feeds into my insecurity of not feeling good enough that I've mentioned in previous blog posts.

In the grand scheme of things, this is not the biggest problem in the world, I have a roof over my head, a kind and supportive family and friends, I have some money coming in from invigilating exams and I have a kick-ass shoe collection.
I have a pretty good life, even if I'd prefer it to be just ever so slightly happier by getting past the interview stage of a job application.

Even when there is something a bit bigger or sadder going on that's getting me down, I still like to find a way to come to terms with it naturally rather than to reach out to others.

I get where my friends are coming from when they encourage me not to bottle things up and talk - they are right but just because I chose not to speak about things doesn't mean I don't process them in my own way.

I find my own therapy in writing letters to myself, nonsense blog posts, making origami birds/bats or even helping others.

What about you guys? Are you a talker or do you prefer to handle things in your own way?

Today's Shoes

Something I'm more than happy to talk about is shoes!
Today's shoes are my Disney Villian Vans which I acquired from Schuh.
This is an old picture of them as I forgot to take one today.
They combine two of my biggest loves - Shoes and Disney!

They are also super comfy!

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