Dear Wee Rachie: What are you doing with your life?

Dear Wee Rachel,  

What are you doing with your life? 

It’s a dreaded question for anyone, whether you’re a handsomely paid director of a big ass organisation or a former child star with a fading profile and a catchphrase to your name (you’re neither by the way!).

Generally speaking, no one is 100% happy with every aspect of their lives, even the lucky sods who seemingly have everything in their lives figured out – news flash, they don’t! 

Some people have a better answer to that question than others, “I’m a director of a big organisation” probably sounds better than “I’m unemployed and focusing on my sitcom reruns” but the good answers probably don’t include the crappy things that keep them awake at night, the pressures of their job or the lack of time they have to do things away from their high stress careers.

If you are sitting thinking that your life is a bit crap and you don’t have a scooby how you are going to change it, welcome to the boat, absolutely everyone on this planet we call earth is already on it!

Ok, so you might not be in need of a telethon or a therapist, but you’ve come to the realisation that sometimes, life is a bit crap because it just is.  That’s a lesson some people go through life and never learn, you are already years ahead in discovery than some who came before you, it might not be Nobel Prize worthy but in my eyes it’s blooming impressive!

I can be a bit fortune cookie at times for a spatially challenged 26 year old who walks into the same doorpost on a daily and often hourly basis but I like to think I have a good grasp of these things. Someone somewhere coined the phrase ‘an old head on young shoulders’ to describe it when a young person has a knack for saying something profound – you’ll hear it a lot, not necessarily to describe you, but occasionally.  It’s a fancy way of saying that you have grasped early on in life an understanding of something that some adults have yet to master – the collective term for such adults is often referred to as Morons – fear them!

I used to be embarrassed to answer that question with the truth – I’m unemployed and desperately hoping someone will give me a chance to prove myself. I’d go for something that made me sound like a semi proactive human being such as ‘I’ve just finished uni and I’m volunteering until I find a job in my field’ because it sounded better than – ‘I spend my time filling out application forms, making origami and watching charmed reruns whilst simultaneously crying on the inside and eating Wotsits’ (other cheesy corn puff snacks are available, although maybe not for you – apparently milk makes you ill – spoiler!). 

Since becoming unemployed for the second time in two years I’ve learned to be less concerned about that pitying or judgmental look I might get and go with honesty.  My answer to the dreaded question is now “I was on a fixed term contract as an intern, I’m now unemployed as I’ve yet to successfully pass another interview, but fingers crossed eh?” if I’m speaking to a sensible person, they’ll know that’s my polite way of saying bog off and stop asking me, my answer is the same as it was two days ago when you last asked me.  If I’m speaking to one of the aforementioned Morons, who treats me as if unemployment is a lifestyle choice, I calmly remind myself that my situation is hopefully temporary, whereas being an asshat is generally infinite.

I’m telling you this because while you don’t have to be content with unfortunate circumstances, you sure as hell don’t have to be ashamed of them either! No one’s life is perfect, your flaws, shortcomings and struggles are part of what makes you who you are – human!

For me the secret to overcoming the crappy things in my life is to own them, they are mine! I’m not unemployed because the world hates me and lets bad things happen to me. I’m unemployed because there are many other jobseekers like me and I have limited experience.  I’m not skinny because I like to eat lots of food, and I’m not Beyoncé because I’m me and frankly if I were Beyoncé, Beyoncé wouldn’t be Beyoncé and that just wouldn’t be fair on the world.  Oh yeah, you develop an unhealthy obsession with Beyoncé, just accept it.

Regardless of what you are doing with your life or how you feel about your life, it’s yourlife, own it, change it, live it, don’t wait around for it to get better or begin, carpe doughnut! Seize it!

P.S - I’m sorry you’re not an actress or a giraffe, but you did find a career path that you’re good at, sometimes it’s a great outlet for being a smartarse, you don’t have to hide that by the way, just try not to annoy anyone! 

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Dairy Free Rachie

Dairy Free Rachie

I have noticed for many years that I often sneeze after I eat.

I also noticed that I seemed to get a sore stomach and visit the toilet often. 

It took me until this year to start trying to figure out what was causing these things so I started a food diary, keeping track of what I ate and how it made me feel.  I soon noticed that everything was pointing towards Dairy/Milk.

After trying a few alternatives to milk and feeling better for it, I went to visit my doctor and she confirmed that I have an intolerance to dairy and I've been trying to cut it out of my diet and try alternatives.

 I still occasionally have something I shouldn't like donuts/doughnuts - but I soon regret it, although sometimes the after effect is minor.

There are advantages, my real weakness when it comes to food is chocolate, specifically milk chocolate.
I would often go through a bar or a big treat bag in one sitting, sometimes more than once a day - I've almost cut it out completely and have come across a few dairy free alternatives - my mum even bought me a dairy free chocolate advent calendar - for context, I'm 26 so she went above and beyond in terms of kindness!

As well as eating less crap, I'm sleeping better too.  I used to take hours to manage to settle at night - possibly because I would have some cereal or a milky drink before bed, sometimes noise will keep me awake but I'm doing much better and getting some shut eye!

In the day time I feel much more awake and full of energy, whereas in the past I've wanted to seek out the nearest table or surface to rest my head on.

I might do some reviews or share some recipes of dairy free things I come across on my blog.  I've been trying some different brands of soya and almond based cheese so I might do something with that. 

Hopefully it'll help someone else who feels crappy after they eat or looking for some alternatives.

Feel free to share any brands/recipes/thoughts in the comments, if you have any food intolerance/allergies/preferences, maybe we could all help each other out.

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Dear Wee Rachie: An Introduction

I started writing letters to my younger self last summer, shortly after my contract on my job ended and I was looking for something to do to pass the time in between application forms and volunteering.
These eventually turned into a bit of self therapy for myself when I was feeling a bit crappy and I thought I would put some of them up on my blog, I've edited a few bits like changing 25 to 26 and circumstances that have changed etc.  I'll play it by ear whether I put any more on, I'm unsure, but here was the first one I wrote myself. 

Dear Wee Rachel,   

Rachie, Rach or whatever variation of Rachel you are going by at the present moment.

It’s me, well it’s you, I’m you, but I’m future you! Don’t be scared, I’m perfectly normal, well, I’m as normal as you are.  There will be times when you wonder and imagine what it will be like to be me - I remember what it was like to be you! I wanted to get in touch, I don’t want to spoil your hopes and dreams or give you too many spoilers but I thought I’d offer you some insights that I’ve picked up along the way that might have been useful to me back when I was you.  

To paraphrase dear old Madonna (I say old, she is probably more active and in better shape in her 50s than I am in during my 20s or ever will be - if I look half as good as she does when I’m past the half century mark, I'll dance around in my pants too! *Note – I won’t Mum, I’m just being a smartarse) we are living in a material world and I am a...... graduate with no job.   Ok, one spoiler, you went to university; (you passed exams and everything!) I bet you can’t begin to fathom that right now, but believe it or not, you aren’t actually stupid!

Back to the whole crappy being unemployed thing, I'm not at all unique in that, for every job I apply for, every interview I go along to, I am going up against hundreds of me's (they may not have my self-inflicted red hair, my grasp of sarcasm or my ridiculous phobias of feet and tiny insects), but like me they've studied their craft, read a thousand books that bore little relevance to the career path they wanted to follow but merely helped them to pass a module that was the best of a limited selection that semester (I digress but yes, I am talking about Film Theory Goes to the Movies, Catriona if you ever read this, you are a fantastic educator and I thoroughly enjoyed that module, also reading about the monstrous feminine made me question whether my body really was a monster and helped me come to the realisation that most theorists in that subject are misogynistic muppets - thank you!). Getting back to the point, the hundreds of me's that I come up against are suffering from the same problem that myself and others across the world are - too many job seekers, not enough opportunities. It’s not much fun but you aren’t alone. 

There will be some for whom everything generally works out straight away because it’s just who they are - they are pushy in the good way,  they view tutors as potential industry contacts, they’ve been networking since the age of conception and have that steely determination to achieve the best no matter what the cost, and while that makes you feel crap, it’s the difference between them and us unassuming folk who let the life come to them and hope for the best and teaches us an important lesson - grab life by the balls or you'll spend your days scratching yours!! (Yes I know you have no balls of which to speak, imagine metaphorical balls for effect!).

I’m a 26 year old graduate struggling to find employment in a competitive field with red hair (yes you have red hair now and Mum loves it, Dad doesn’t really acknowledge it, which probably means its fine!), a smart mouth and a pink ukulele.
You have had some jobs, an amazing one year internship, some admin contracts and you invigilate exams.  It's not all hopeless.
 My musings of the world probably won’t be the most insightful anyone will ever read or change the world but hopefully they might help you or someone like you to feel better about their life, maybe they’ll amuse someone further on in life with an penchant for nostalgia or maybe it’ll just make a judgmental old pensioner I know feel a little less smug to see that I do more with my time than sit on social media accounts all day - three of which I have open as I type -  yeah, I can multi-task bitch!

I'll write to you again soon.

P.S – I say this with love, and hindsight…. Throw out that bloody awful Orange padded jacket, you look like a pumpkin!

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