It might be February already but I said I wanted to read more books this year than I did last year so here is my musings on the first book I've finished reading this year!
Quick Review
Genre(s): Self Help/Motivation
Who Wrote It: Summerdale Publishers
Did I Dig It?: Heck yeah!
2 Second Summary: Some sound advice on saying no.
Quirky Queen Rating: 👑👑👑👑👑
5 out of 5 Crowns from me on this occasion.
Every once in a while I need a reminder that saying no is not only acceptable, but necessary.
Every once in a while I need a reminder that saying no is not only acceptable, but necessary.
I also read it while my neighbour was having carpets fitted and it distracted me from the loud hammering!
Extended Musings
I think I've mentioned before that I struggle when it comes to saying no. I'm aware of the word's existence and can use it, I just don't like doing it.
While reading through some of the advice in this book, I found myself nodding along at alot of the section titles because I struggle saying no in those situations.
My biggest problem is I get 'decliner's remorse' I'm not sure if that's even a thing or if I've just stolen someone else's term but I'm gonna roll with it! Every time I say no or consider saying no, the pangs of guilt are never far away, I worry people won't like me, I worry I'll be letting them down, I worry that if something goes wrong or they have a miserable time - it will be my fault. In reality, I really need to get over myself. Someone might be mildly put out that I said no, but they'll move on pretty quickly and find someone else to go see that film I won't enjoy or help them do that thing I'd be terrible at helping with. They might not even give it a second thought.
Politeness, Firmness and Honesty were recurring words I found throughout this book. I reckon these are positive intentions to have in mind when it comes to saying no.
Be polite about it, be honest about it but also be firm with it.
Be polite about it, be honest about it but also be firm with it.
I'm a terrible one for getting myself stuck in a Vicky Pollard trap of 'No but yes but no but yes' - I start with the intention of saying no but I dance around in a circle not wanting to be unkind and end up either committed to something I don't want to do or committed to something else as a result. As long as I'm not being rude, saying no really shouldn't be the big deal I turn it into.
I'm going to try and keep this book in my mind in situations where I feel myself about to execute a yes when I want to say no. I'll also try and change my view on no being a completely negative thing.