So, here's the story from A – Z
I don't think I ever actually made it past the waiting list for the official fan club or completed my collection of those polaroid photos you could buy in Woolworths for about £1 but as far as I was concerned, from the age of seven onwards, I was The Spice Girls most enthusiastic fan.
I had concerts for my stuffed animals or reluctant family members in my back garden, their first album was the first cassette I ever bought. I've no idea what the first CD I ever bought was - I have a feeling it was probably Spice Up Your Life or Robbie Williams - I do know that the first song I ever downloaded was The Hampsterdance Song, purely because I was a massive fan of Disney's Robin Hood and Roger Miller's Whistle Stop song is forever running through my head and my heart, I digress, back to The Spice Girls.
I tried to start my own Spice Girls fan club in the playground, I made membership cards out of the flimsiest paper in the universe for everyone in my class, with the most horrific hand-drawn images of everyone with my best crayons. Needless to say, they weren't impressed, I reckon they were just jealous of my creative spirit and business savvy!
My head of unruly curls meant I was never destined to win the role of Sporty or Baby at any playground performance, although on one occasion at a children's club on holiday I got to take on the part of Posh at the talent night. As the youngest member of our three-minute-long tribute band, I felt pressure to deliver my best Victoria, I mean V was a real lady, I hadn't grown into my nose yet – I still haven't.
The concept of Girl Power didn't quite resonate with me in the the way that it does now, at the age of seven as far as I was concerned Girl Power was all friendship and peace signs. I now know better. I learned many lessons from Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh and Sporty during my formative years – some of them I grasped at the time, others came as light bulb moments much later in life.
Embrace Your Style
Admittedly, my wardrobe choices probably haven't progressed much beyond my mid 90s Spice inspired choices of big shoes and bold print or colours but I spent a lot of my teenage years censoring myself in case I was in a class with an idiot that day who would make fun of me. There were occasions where I will allow that my choices were questionable, playboy socks, and my bright orange padded anorak wasn't my most elegant. Now I'm older, I pick what makes me feel good that day, as long as it's appropriate for the environment I'm in, I give very few fluffy ducks.
Spice Up Your Life
Particularly in lockdown this year, I've found myself looking for ways to inject some fun and life into my days. Whether it's giving my days a theme, trying to cook new dishes or bake new things, I've been actively trying to do something every day.
We get one shot at this existence, and we'll spend most of it asleep, at work or hiding in the house from a global pandemic or lousy weather. I'm now actively pursuing things that keep a little bit of spice and fun in my life, whether it's dressing up like Paddington Bear at the age of 31 or scrolling through dairy free brownie recipes on Pinterest, I'm adding something to my day to spice it up.
It's okay to do a Geri.
Geri didn't just break my heart in 1998 when she left the band. She shook my world. I was a relatively carefree nine-year-old, had never really experienced or been aware of much in the way of change or loss that impacted me directly. It was my first experience of something out with my control rocking my understanding and failing to compute. What did anything mean anymore?
My nine-year-old identity crisis aside, Geri removed herself from a situation for reasons that resonated with her at that time. My 31-year-old self looks back at that now with admiration. There are occasions where I have stayed in jobs or conversations or friendships where my mind and body have been begging me to say 'Bye, Felicia'.
Who do you think you are?
I maintain at 31 that I am still getting to know myself. I'm not sure it actually stops because we adapt to our surroundings and experiences and who I was a 21 is a bit different to who I am at 31, that's normal.
If I'm asked by someone to tell them about me, I start with what I thrive on, and what I'm good at, I don't mention that I'm crap at maths, often suppress negative emotions and hate exercise. It's important to check myself sometimes. I don't mean I'm going to have a pity party and focus on all my flaws and every mistake but focus on who I think I am and what I can do to get myself closer to that.
Those are just my musings on this lukewarm Thursday. I started writing this post a while ago and revisited it today.
