Who/What I want to be when I'm older.

Who/What I want to be when I'm older.

Yesterday, someone asked me what I want to be when I'm older.

My initial response was going to be 'younger' but seeing as it was an eight year old that asked me the question, I figured being a smart arse probably wasn't the best way to answer the question.

I didn't actually give much of an answer which I felt a little bit bad about - I could have answered the question.

I know exactly what area I want to be in career wise.
I dread people who are younger than me asking me about career stuff, particularly if it has been close to a time when I haven't been successful in an interview or application.
I'd feel awful if I accidentally passed on my own insecurities about my future on to someone else.

Most of the time, I'm fairly positive about my job search, I'm looking for employment in a very competitive field and going up against strong competition, so it stands to reason that sometimes,
I'm not going to be lucky one.

I'm working in the meantime, earning some money, learning to drive and keeping myself busy.

There are occasions however, when other people's opinions can feed into my insecurity.
There are some people I know, lovely though they are, that don't understand that looking for relevant work is often a full time job in itself and that making the shortlist for an interview can feel as big an achievement as making the final 4 at a Grand Slam.

An easier question would be 'Who do you want to be when you are older?'

I want to be someone that works hard - whether that is in my chosen career path or not.
I want to be someone that has confidence in the things I know I can do and confidence in being able to ask for help with the things I know I can't do just so well.
I want to be someone that has made enough stupid mistakes to have learned from them how to be a semi decent human being.
I want to be someone that encourages others to aspire to reach their goals but know that not achieving them isn't the worst thing in the world and doesn't mean that they are not good enough to achieve them.

There's more to the person I want to be when I'm older, but maybe that's a blog post for a few years time when I'm hopefully a step closer to feeling confident in being that person.

Maybe the next time someone asks me what I want to be, I can be someone who answers the question without feeling insecure about whether or not I'll get to achieve those goals in the future.

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