Quirky Reads: The Joy of No

It might be February already but I said I wanted to read more books this year than I did last year so here is my musings on the first book I've finished reading this year!

Quick Review

Genre(s): Self Help/Motivation

Who Wrote It: Summerdale Publishers

Did I Dig It?: Heck yeah!

2 Second Summary: Some sound advice on saying no.

Quirky Queen Rating: 👑👑👑👑👑

5 out of 5 Crowns from me on this occasion.
Every once in a while I need a reminder that saying no is not only acceptable, but necessary.

I also read it while my neighbour was having carpets fitted and it distracted me from the loud hammering!

Extended Musings

I think I've mentioned before that I struggle when it comes to saying no. I'm aware of the word's existence and can use it, I just don't like doing it.

While reading through some of the advice in this book, I found myself nodding along at alot of the section titles because I struggle saying no in those situations.

My biggest problem is I get 'decliner's remorse' I'm not sure if that's even a thing or if I've just stolen someone else's term but I'm gonna roll with it! Every time I say no or consider saying no, the pangs of guilt are never far away, I worry people won't like me, I worry I'll be letting them down, I worry that if something goes wrong or they have a miserable time - it will be my fault. In reality, I really need to get over myself. Someone might be mildly put out that I said no, but they'll move on pretty quickly and find someone else to go see that film I won't enjoy or help them do that thing I'd be terrible at helping with. They might not even give it a second thought.

Politeness, Firmness and Honesty were recurring words I found throughout this book. I reckon these are positive intentions to have in mind when it comes to saying no.
Be polite about it, be honest about it but also be firm with it.

I'm a terrible one for getting myself stuck in a Vicky Pollard trap of 'No but yes but no but yes' - I start with the intention of saying no but I dance around in a circle not wanting to be unkind and end up either committed to something I don't want to do or committed to something else as a result. As long as I'm not being rude, saying no really shouldn't be the big deal I turn it into.

I'm going to try and keep this book in my mind in situations where I feel myself about to execute a yes when I want to say no. I'll also try and change my view on no being a completely negative thing.

Comments

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