Goodbye January, Hello Rachie.

Cards on the table....I've been a bit of a misery guts for the past few weeks.  

I feel like for most of January, my personality has been somewhat switched off.

I'm not really sure why.  I don't know if the job hunt is getting me down, if I'm spending too much time indoors and on the computer.
 It might be the lack of chocolate in my diet, it could be the countless hours of reality TV my eyes have witnessed over the month of January - but what I am sure of is that I need to snap out of it.

For someone who talks a lot about being positive and looking for the sunshine, I haven't done a whole lot of it lately.  

It's possible that's down to the fact its currently winter in Scotland and the sun is currently shielded by an abundance of rain filled clouds - that doesn't actually sound too dissimilar to the description of summer in Scotland, but at least it's usually a little brighter!

January is gone, well at time of typing its the 30th so there is still a day to go, but the month is basically at an end.  

I've decided that as this month draws to a close - with the exception of times when I need to let sad feelings happen - I've used up all my moping around time for the year.

I've decided in order to kick start my 2016 kick up the bum, I am going to give myself some hopefully achievable goals.
Some to aid me in my job search, some to aid me in keeping myself chipper when not doing something application or interview related. 

• Pick up a new hobby, I have an entire box of origami cranes, bats, cats and swans - its a fun hobby, its one I can do anywhere, I once made 10 cranes while waiting to go into an interview from some post it notes in my bag - however, if I overdo the origami thing all the time, its going to get tiresome and boring for me.  I enjoy baking and making things like banana jam, but realistically I can't do those everyday or I'd be eternally full to the brim with sugar, so I need to find something else to capture my attention and pass my time. Maybe crochet, crosstich, jewelry making, I don't know yet. 
  Suggestions are welcome.

• Last year I wrote a blog post about doing One Scary Thing Every Day  and somewhere over the last few months, I've let that slide.  Maybe I felt I had gotten to a stage where my nerves weren't holding me back quite the same, I don't know but I feel its time I start embracing the mission again, whether its something small like volunteering to make dinner (I'm not exactly experienced in the kitchen), saying no to something I don't want to do rather than doing it, feeling miserable and wishing I'd said no.  James is forever telling me that controlled fear is a good thing - its usually when he's trying to convince me to go on some terrifying ride like a roller coaster or something equally scary that goes upside down but he does have a point. I can't live in the safety of my bubble 24/7 or my world will become very sheltered very quickly.
  
  
• Find one enjoyable thing to take away from each interview, whether it's knowing I did well even if I didn't get the job, if someone who works there was kind and gave me a free pen, if the someone on the panel complimented my coat (those last two actually happened on separate occasions and both were pretty cool) if I made the interview panel laugh - in a good way. 
  I need to stop coming away from these things and once I hear back feeling like it's just another thing to cross off the list of things that didn't work out. Whether or not I get the jobs I go for, I need to start treating interviews as enjoyable experiences to take something fun away from. 

• I like to write.  I need to do this more. Whether that is in blog posts, poems, letters, stories, happy lists. 
  It's a skill I have and in the career path I want to follow, its an essential one, so I need to need to keep it active. Maybe it will help me find that full time job that seems out of reach, maybe it won't. Maybe it'll help me process things better, maybe it won't but its definitely something I need to keep doing.

• Go outdoors.  Spend more time with James, spend more time with my friends - ask them to do something cheap or free while money is a concern. Take a book to the park - weather permitting, it is winter. Do things that involve leaving the house for more than the few hours a week that come with long standing routine.

Today's Shoes

Technically, these shoes are slippers.

But they are what is on my feet today and I decided for the purposes of this blog post they can be shoes as I haven't done a shoe diary post since last summer and I'd like to correct that.

These Bunny Slippers were a Christmas present and I think they came from Next, I'm not sure if they still have them but they have a cute pair of bear slippers that are pretty similar.

The cake and cat trousers came from H&M  - seeing as they are on display in the picture!