Dear Wee Rachie: Sleep is a beautiful thing.

Dear Wee Rachel,

Sleep is a beautiful thing!

You don’t realise it right now, but you have this amazing ability to sleep at night, to just switch off your brain, lie down and sleep. Sometimes your head might be full of crap that finds its way into your dreams but the actual sleeping part you have down to a tee.

In a few years, sleep will seem like a story, a fairy-tale like Cinderella or Snow White (I thought Sleeping Beauty would be a cruel example, but hey, at least that bitch got some sleep!).

I don’t know why sleeping became a problem, it might be the fizzy juice that you drink (I know you love Irn Bru, but your insides are probably orange by now, cut down a bit!) it could be all the time you spend in front of the computer, the TV or your phone (FYI, phones are cooler in the future, but bloody expensive!). Whatever it was, it became an issue and it’s one you’ll fight for a while, I’m still fighting it now.

I’m writing you this letter because I’m struggling to fall asleep and I don’t want you to grow up, become me and spend your life wanting to sleep. Sometimes my brain is full of too many things to settle; sometimes the slightest little noise will wake me up.

You have no idea how much this will affect you when you are my age. Sure it’s fine to snooze through Mr Kershaw’s Maths class (you get a free pass on that one because he likes that you have a smart mouth and knows you’re not a moron) but you really need to start taking better care to get sleep at night.

What I want you to do from now on is keep a notebook next to your bed, write down all the thoughts that are in your head when you sleep, hopes, fears, dreams, things that scare you and let them all out. Start going to bed earlier or set a consistent time so your body knows it’s time to sleep. Come up with your own ideas, but please do something.

P.S – It turns out you don’t like the taste mint very much - mild is fine, strong is yuck, look out for alternative toothpastes, that way I won’t have to listen to your dentist when she moans or ‘accidentally’ (gently) bite her when she pisses me off!

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