Good Luck, Bad Luck and Modelling for 5 Minutes!

I've had an interesting week so far and it's only Wednesday! 

On Monday my laptop went a tiny bit funny and decided it needed to be refreshed and seemed to be fine.

On Tuesday, I switched it on to find it had been infected with a virus that had encrypted all my files - eek! Thankfully the lovely chaps at the local repair shop have been able to remove the virus but it was bloody scary! 

My luck improved on Tuesday afternoon, I won an iPad in a survey my uni sent out to previous graduates (or alumni if I wish to sound a bit posh!) and I went to pick it up today! 

I spent 5 minutes outside and inside my old uni posing for photos with my pretty new toy - the closest experience I'll ever have to being a model! Lol 

It scares me sometimes how much I rely on my gadgets/technology. 

I spend a lot of time on my laptop, whether it's job hunting, filling out applications, blogging, catching up on TV shows....but I also do most of those things on my phone too.

If I didn't have either, I'm not sure how I'd fill my time alone! That worries me, I think I need to start having more adventures to fill my time...... :-) 

I also had a nice shopping trip with my mother and had a Nutella milk shake - let's hope the good luck continues :-).

Today's Shoes

Technically I've had two pairs of shoes on today but for the most part I had on my super comfy green boots! 

They are designed to look a bit like Docs but they were a total bargain for everything5pounds.com! 

They zip up the side so the laces are just to make your foot feel a little more secure - best fiver I ever spent! 

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One Scary Thing Every Day.....

One Scary Thing Every Day.....


I mentioned in a previous post 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' that along with the book recommendation, a very lovely woman named Hilary suggested that I do one scary thing every day as a confidence building exercise. Within reason of course - she wasn't suggesting I go for a bungee jump or a skydive every day, but take a few more risks to bring me out of my comfort zone and out of my shell a little bit more. Also, perhaps the most important - make decisions without panicking!

I've been doing this in fits and starts over the past few months. Some of the 'scary' things I've done have been simple, like actually saying no to something I don't want to do and not worrying that the universe will implode because I didn't say yes, ordering something I've never had before at a restaurant, the other week I fried an egg unsupervised (Yes I am a grown woman and 25 years old, but I'm also useless in the kitchen).

Other scary things have been a little bit bigger and today's scary thing was beginning driving lessons again.

I started driving lessons initially a few years ago and didn't properly get the hang of it, struggled with nerves, was easily spooked and when I got a full time job in the city centre (next to a train station), I gave up.

Not being able to drive has become something of a pain over the last few months and I decided (check me out, making a decision!) to try again with a new start, new company and new instructor.  If I'm going to learn something from scratch again, I may as well go the whole hog and give myself a clean slate.

I had my first lesson today and it wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be, most of the lesson was spent putting me at ease and reminding me of the basics and for the last section of the lesson, I did a little bit of driving.  It was a little daunting but not the most terrifying thing in the world. I got a little panicky when a few impatient drivers were champing at the bit to get past me as I slowed their journey down by a few seconds, but other than that, I survived it and actually came away thinking 'Wow, I did that!'

My next scary thing might not be as big as today, but I'll be a little less scared to tackle it - whatever it is! :-)

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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent - Not Even You!

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent - Not Even You!


I'm great at pulling out this quote when I'm speaking to other people who are feeling a bit insecure or inferior to others.

'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'

I associate the quote with Eleanor Roosevelt, but The Princess Diaries and Barbie Charm School are also legit sources, albeit quoting the former :-).

When it comes to saying it into my own head when I feel insecure or inferior I'm not as certain. Maybe that's because other people don't actually make me feel that way - I make me feel that way.

For the most part, my insecurity isn't caused by someone else, it comes from how I feel when I compare myself to them.

Take my day out today for example, I went shopping with my friend and while her outfit looked like it had just come off a runway, mine gave off more of a 'well this was clean!' vibe and there were a few moments where I'd look at her and look at myself and think

'Bahhh, why don't I look as good as you do?'

I soon shut my brain up with some Yasai Katsu Curry!

I should point out that my friend is lovely and suffers from the same insecurities as I do and would feel awful if she thought for a second I was comparing myself to her and feeling a bit down.

It's something I've never completely grown out of as I've gotten older. As a teenager, I'd listen to my friends who were slightly less curvier than myself complain they were fat or too big and knowing I was heavier/curvier than they were, I'd immediately compare myself to them and decide that in comparison I must be huge - I wasn't. 

 I just allowed their own personal insecurities to influence and feed into mine - again knowing that if they thought for a second I was comparing myself to them, they'd feel terrible.

While feeling inferior to other people and comparing yourself is a completely normal and human thing to do - treating the people you compare yourself to badly as a result is not.

It may not always seem that way but comparing yourself to someone else and feeling you come up short does not mean that it's their fault. I totally know that I'm prone to comparing myself to others and that it's my issue, I never want to make that something they have to feel bad about.

It sounds daft but I think it never really hit home to me until today that if I don't think it's okay for others to treat me as though I am inferior, it certainly isn't okay to do it to myself :-)

Today's Shoes

For today's shopping/lunch trip, I had my super comfy blue and yellow checked converse on! The majority of my converse collection are hi-tops but I have a select few pairs of quirky low-tops. I think these ones might be my favourite, I've had them for a good few years and they are still in pretty good nick. :-)

*I also clearly ignored the 'Please do not put your feet on the seats' sign on the train, even if it was a for a second or two - sorry!*

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Spring Cleaning

Despite the pouring rain outside, the hour of sleep I lost on Saturday night(thank you for that UK Daylight Saving Time) has reminded me that Spring has  just about sprung!

The pollen season has started, there are Easter Eggs & Hot Cross Buns in the shops and crème eggs are everywhere!

I sort of like spring, not just because it's a wee bit less Baltic than winter & it means my birthday cake day is approaching, but it symbolises the start of something new - that wasn't a reference to High School Musical but I now have the song stuck in my head - d'oh!

A lot of things start over again in spring time, plants and flowers reappear, the British Soap Awards & Eurovision reappear, for a fair few years Doctor Who would reappear - I've totally lost track of what time of year it comes on now, I think its post summer but goodness knows, feel free to put my mind at ease and advise me :-) - I digress but basically a lot of things either reappear or start over.

In this spirit, I decided not so much to start over but clear out a little bit of the old to make way for the new.

I began having a bit of a spring clean today, not because I felt I needed a new start but really because my room is so full of clutter and general untidiness that I can't find a damn thing when I want to lay my hands on it! 

Now that I've rediscovered the carpet and assigned my possessions proper homes, my brain does actually feel a little less cluttered. I'm not sure if the act of throwing out lots of useless crap is necessarily therapeutic for me but perhaps there is a bit of a link between the two.

Perhaps with a tidier room and tidier mind, I can tackle lots of those new and scarier things I've been too shy or afraid to try!

Just because I thought it was cute - here's my Lady teddy playing with Paul Anka (my ukulele) while I tidy.

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Quirky Reads: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

As a kid, I was fairly confident, possibly even too confident at times, I was scared of insects, dogs and lifts/elevators but not much else. 

As I got a bit older, that confidence sort of dissolved like Alex Mack into a puddle of goop, and I found myself a much shyer Rachie.

A few months ago, I met with a lovely lady called Hilary who was helping me by offering me advice & tips for interviews and she quickly picked up on the fact that one of my biggest problems was confidence.

Along with lots of interview specific advice, she also advised that I do one scary thing everyday and read a book called

'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers.

I quickly acquired a copy and began reading it in the hopes that I would gain something from it - and I certainly did.

Without reiterating the whole book and spoiling it for anyone who hasn't read it yet and might want to - I learned that I'm most afraid of What Ifs!

What if I can't do this? What if they don't like me?

What if I'm awful at this?

What if something goes horribly wrong?

Shortly thereafter, I learned that the best thing I can do to try and squash that fear is to answer all of my What Ifs with

'I'll handle it!'

I'm not suggesting I'll be going skydiving or walking a tightrope anytime soon but I am more open to tackling the unknown and I'm gradually learning to stop saying 'I don't think I can do this' and go with 'I'll give it a try' instead.



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The Power of Shoes.

 

There is a line in the film 'In Her Shoes' delivered by Rose describing her ever growing collection of shoes and what she gets out of owning them.

"Clothes never look any good, food just makes me fatter, shoes always fit."

In some ways I can relate to that, I share Rose's attitude to clothes and food and I share her obsession with shoes.  I don't have the luxury of shoes always fitting my feet, but that's down to my wide feed and the occasional manufacturers narrow measurement.

As a girl who owns more than 50 pairs of shoes, it's fair to say that I'm a bit of a shoe fanatic. It didn't start as a conscious effort and I maintain that it still isn't!  My collection just sort of happened.

Every pair of shoes represents something different for me, there are trusty every day pairs that I can rely on to carry my feet through the day and handle whatever weather they find themselves in....other pairs were specific purchases to fulfil a gap like sensible winter boots or interview shoes....some were just plain impulse or retail therapy buys but they all help me. 

Some days I'll need a pair that make me feel relaxed or comfortable and I'll know I need a pair of baseball boots, other days I'll need something formal and know where to lay my hands on my Mary Jane's. 

Even though it may appear shallow, I think it's important to maintain a good relationship with the garments I put on my feet.  They spend most of the day protecting my feet while I get about my day - I reckon they have the hard job.

Today's Shoes.

The Shoe's I have on today are my flamingo print trainers, which are a Rocket Dog creation. They are super comfy and make me smile.

 They came with one pair of white laces and one pair of pink, so naturally I decided to have one of each when I wear them, cause that's a Rachie thing to do!



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Hello, Hello, Hello.

Hello, Hello, Hello.

This is an obligatory first post test. 

Hello World.  I'm just setting up this blogger malarkey, testing it out and playing around with themes..............don't mind me.

At some point I'll endeavour to do something interesting.

Ciao x

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