Stop faking it: 30 day challenge #2

 

Today’s progress on overcoming imposter syndrome is very much a focus on ‘Learn that you earned it’ 

Does anyone else feel super uncomfortable when someone says something nice about them or praises their work?

I’m pretty sure that won’t just be me. 

I got praise on a piece of work and instead of doing my usual uncomfortable screwed up face, I said thank you and reminded myself I’d put effort in and it was a good thing that the effort was acknowledged and to be grateful that the end result was well received.  

I also acknowledged that I had support from my boss to achieve it and that with her continued encouragement, belief in my abilities and guidance, I can tackle new tasks. 

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Stop faking it: 30 day challenge #1

I attended a webinar yesterday by The Marketing Meet-up on imposter syndrome. I think we all experience it to some extent and I know it’s something that has held me back in work and social situations.

I often attend such webinars, take notes and think about all the great ways I’m going to change my life. I then, of course, don’t bother my shirt and continue to be a creature of habit. 

What I really loved about Sahana’s session was that she introduced workable exercises and a 30 day challenge to practice giving them a go. This really struck a chord with me so I thought I’d give it a go. 

Sahana’s session offered three alternatives to ‘Fake it until you make it’ 

These were: 

• Repeat it until you believe it
• Learn that you earned it
• Practice it until you perfect it

It would be impractical to do every exercise every day so Sahana recommended focussing on three that are do-able and work on those. 

Today I’ve chosen to focus on:

• Finding my edge - what is my unique thing that makes me great? While working on something I watched on another webinar that spoke about finding your unique ability, I asked a few friends what they thought mine was. The answer that came back was my ability to see the positive, not in a toxic positivity kind of way but in a ‘stepping back, observing, and picking out the positives’ kind of way. 
• Learn that you earned it: writing down achievements, recognising the role others play in helping you achieve them and making a note of what your are grateful for. I’ve had a journal app on my phone for about a year that I rarely use that asks you what you are grateful for and what your highlights have been each day. I made a point of filling this in. 
• Saying yes to opportunities by asking myself, am I doing this alone? What is the worst thing that could happen? What is the best thing that could happen? I’ve actively said yes a few times since watching the webinar yesterday by either saying yes to something outside of my comfort zone or offering to do something outside of my comfort zone. 

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Time for fresh start

Hello! I decided to make a fresh start with my blog. 

I’d given myself a theme and then felt pressure to post within my theme, so I decided a fresh start was in order. 

New name, blank canvas, let’s go. 

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32 things

Everyone has an idea of the milestones they want to tick off by the time they reach certain ages. It’s been a strange year where creating your own entertainment, stimulation and activity are what you make of it. 

With this in mind, I decided with 22 days to go until my birthday, I was going to tick of a list of 32 things. A bit a few years ago when I did a 28 things by 28. Except, instead of 6 weeks, I came up with the idea of doing it with 22 days to go!

The list varied from doing something new to wearing my spare glasses, but it passed the time.  With one day to go, this blog is the last item on my list to be ticked off! Yay! 32 to in 22. 

There are real milestones to be ticked off in life, but until the world is a bit more normal, I’ll be creating my own entertainment and magic! 

Here’s my list and a few examples of my attempts: 

32 in 22

1. Make meatloaf from scratch ✅
2. Make hot cross buns ✅
3. Make bread ✅
4. Do a 5k walk ✅
5. Do a yoga session. ✅
6. Put money in savings account ✅
7. Have a picnic ✅
8. Make something totally new for breakfast ✅  
9. Spend a working day dressed as snow white ✅
10. Spend a working day dressed as dolly parton ✅
11. Learn a Dolly Parton song on the ukulele or flugel - Saturday/Sunday ✅
12. Go for a lunch time/after work walk ✅
13. Decorate an egg ✅
14. Paint my nails ✅
15. Wear a different pair of shoes every day ✅
16. Get car washed ✅
17. Sew something ✅
18. Wear a hat ✅
19. Wear my green glasses for a day ✅ 
20. Bake muffins ✅
21. Drink a beanies coffee ✅
22. Wear a leopard ensemble I’ve not worn before ✅
23. Spend a day dressed as a fairy ✅
24. Spend a day dressed as minnie mouse ✅
25. Watch a film I’ve never seen before ✅
26. Watch the one gilmore girls episode I’ve never seen ✅
27. Make a new origami thing ✅
28. Over indulge in chocolate ✅
29. Park litter pick ✅
30. Write a blog post ✅
31. Make a vision board ✅
32. Celebrate easter ✅

   

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Blogmas: Prattling nonsense about Christmas and Potatoes

 

We all knew when I posted a Blogmas post on December 1st that it would be highly unlikely I'd post daily.  It's not laziness, I promise. I just don't like posting when even I don't find it interesting! 

My December has been very different this year.  On a 'normal' year I'd be out nearly every day playing Christmas music either in the street, in a church of some sort or in a care facility for the elderly. 
This year, I've largely been sat on my posterior binge watching Riverdale. 

I've cut down largely on actually reading social media but I have been watching people's stories and posting nonsense, I just find it healthier not to engage with everything I scroll past. 
I think that might be what I take from this year, consume less - create more. 

James christened me 'Little Miss Christmas' in the past and that's actually quite a fair description, for a grown woman I am absolutely nuts on Christmas. 
It's fair to say I get high on the vibes of Christmas  - to clarify those vibes are the thoughts of turkey and roast potatoes! 

I've had the same Christmas Dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's home every year since I was born, I'm going to count the Christmas before I was born too as I'd have stolen some of that from my Mum's portion.   This year, I'm having my first Christmas Dinner at home - not cooked by me! Don't be daft!
Potatoes are my vice so when it comes to Christmas I go to next level tattie fiend! 
Not that you need to know that, dear reader, I just feel its helpful to paint a picture. 

I'm not sure this was remotely interesting to read but I was in the mood to prattle about Christmas and potatoes. 

This year, Christmas is going to be very different for all of us. 
I hope whatever you do, you have the best time you can.

I'll prattle some nonsense again soon.

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Blogmas: The Tree

I always make some sort of blogmas plan and never stick to it because work and other commitments take over. This year, I’m unemployed and my commitments are limited so I thought I’d try again. 

Today was all about the tree. I actually decorated it yesterday but the official switching on ceremony was today. The official ceremony consisted on me counting down from ten to one and then blasting I wish it could be Christmas everyday. 

Normally I don’t bother with decorations til mid December because I have loads of commitments, this year with everything stripped back, I felt a bit of festive cheer was in order. 

I doubt I’ll post something every day and can’t promise it will be interesting if I do but in the spirit of festive cheer, I’m giving it a go!

Today’s Christmas Film: Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square. 

Today’s most repeated Christmas Song: I Wish  It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizard 

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Climbing my wall

For the majority of this year, every time I've come onto my laptop to write something, I've very swiftly given up and decided to do something else. 

I don't know if it's a lack of creative spark or just a general sense of nothing mattering enough to be bothered. 

I accepted this week that I'd hit a wall mentally.  After being on furlough for the majority of the year, my role was made redundant, and I haven't been getting far with my job search. I took some time to process this, I've eaten plenty of comfort food, I've had some days where I've vegetated, and I've binged watched just about every series I possibly can on Netflix. 

I know that I'm not alone in my circumstances and compared to others, I am reasonably lucky.  Diversion - I actively try not to compare myself to others as I'm biased in favour of others so will always find a way to come off worse, but I do know that there are people who have it far worse than I at the moment. I do not entirely lack perspective. 

Returning to my original train of thought...if I can remember what it was

I'm pretty lucky; I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and all the baking utensils I need to pass the time during this year. 

That hasn't stopped me dwelling on what was, what isn't and how we get to what will be. My brain goes at a million miles per hour pondering possibilities

• Whether to try and start something freelance or if that is too competitive?
• Are the roles I'm applying for out of my reach because I'm not as good as other applicants?
• Are people going to judge me because I'm struggling to find my feet?

These are natural things for me to ponder in the current circumstances, but my issue is that I'm not processing anything my brain is considering. I'm storing it up, and like my i-cloud account, I'm full to the brim with too many files. I don't fancy paying to extend the storage space mentally or digitally, so I need to start tidying things up.

I've mentioned before that I love autumn as it's a chance to recharge before emerging refreshed, so that's what I'm planning to use this time to do.  

Here are just a few things I've got planned for autumn that I think could help me to climb the wall I hit.  

• Morning Pages - I read about this on Pinterest, it's essentially emptying your brain in the morning either digitally or with pen and paper and clearing your mind before tackling the day. It can be journaling; it can be to-do lists; it can be whatever I want it to be. I found it helpful this morning so I will give it a go. 
• Embrace happy and sad in equal measure - I like to be positive, it's a big part of my personality, but it's okay to be sad sometimes too. I highly recommend watching Inside Out if you haven't before. Also, on a personal level, it is okay to be sad and happy about what the big things are for you, even if other people have their bigger things going on. Always justifying stifling what I am feeling is deeply unhealthy. 
• Saying no - Part of my problem is I can't say no to people. There will be times when the answer in my heart is yes, but when the answer in my heart is no, I say yes anyway. I need to get better at that or I will keep hitting walls or end up stained with dirt from the metaphorical doormat I allow people to walk over. 
• Plan my days - For the majority of this year, I've taken every day as it comes. When I was on a 100 Happy Days kick, I gave myself a few themes, but I've mostly let each day pass me by with little activity. It's not healthy. I thrive on routine and structure, so I need to find ways to reintroduce it. 
  
  

I am in no way qualified to advise on how anyone should process their emotions,, unemployment or navigate their mental health, these are just some ideas that I think will be good for me.   I will signpost to some organisations in the UK.  If you are reading my blog elsewhere (she said, optimistically) please feel free to comment with any similar organisations where you are and I will link to these too.                             

https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/

https://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/w/work-life-balance

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