I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

I'm not really a fan of talking about feelings or something that's troubling me. I much prefer to be an ear or a shoulder for someone else and their worries, its where my comfort zone is at.

When it comes to talking about things that make me feel down or unhappy, its not really a case of bottling it up and not dealing with it, it's just that I don't always find that talking about it works for me.

I remember hearing a character called Ephram in the programme Everwood use this quote to describe overcoming grief and it's something that I like to remind myself of when something makes me feel a bit crappy.

"Like if you busted your right hand, you figure out how to use the left one. And sure, you might resist for a while because you're pissed off that you have to learn all this stuff again that nobody else does. Eventually your body takes over and figures it out for you, and your glad, because if it was up to you…you'd look at your broken hand forever and try to figure out what it was like before"

I'm not dealing with the loss of a loved one or a busted hand but I like to trust my body and my mind to look after me.  I get a bit down after interviews when I don't get the job or when there is a bit of a lull in things to apply for or a long line of no 'thank you' and it feeds into my insecurity of not feeling good enough that I've mentioned in previous blog posts.

In the grand scheme of things, this is not the biggest problem in the world, I have a roof over my head, a kind and supportive family and friends, I have some money coming in from invigilating exams and I have a kick-ass shoe collection.
I have a pretty good life, even if I'd prefer it to be just ever so slightly happier by getting past the interview stage of a job application.

Even when there is something a bit bigger or sadder going on that's getting me down, I still like to find a way to come to terms with it naturally rather than to reach out to others.

I get where my friends are coming from when they encourage me not to bottle things up and talk - they are right but just because I chose not to speak about things doesn't mean I don't process them in my own way.

I find my own therapy in writing letters to myself, nonsense blog posts, making origami birds/bats or even helping others.

What about you guys? Are you a talker or do you prefer to handle things in your own way?

Today's Shoes

Something I'm more than happy to talk about is shoes!
Today's shoes are my Disney Villian Vans which I acquired from Schuh.
This is an old picture of them as I forgot to take one today.
They combine two of my biggest loves - Shoes and Disney!

They are also super comfy!

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Quirky Reads: One Million Lovely Letters by Jodi Ann Bickley

Rachie's Musings on: One Million Lovely Letters by Jodi Ann Bickley


I ordered One Million Lovely Letters after hearing about it from various people.
It arrived on a Tuesday morning and by Thursday afternoon I had finished it, I literally only put it down when I had to. 

One Million Lovely letters tells the story of its author Jodi, I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read the book (you really should, it’s pretty awesome!).

In the book Jodi openly talks about the struggles she has had to overcome and how she has had to adapt in order to carry out some of the day to day tasks we often take for granted or don’t even think about while doing them. 

Jodi has channelled her experiences into a fantastic project called One Million Lovely Letters where she reaches out to others all across the world offering them kindness, understanding and support whatever their struggles may be.

Reading this book not only gave me a kick up the bum for feeling sorry for myself over nonsense but also reminded me that a little bit of kindness can go a long long way, all across the world in Jodi’s case!!

If you haven’t already come across it, you can read more about Jodi’s project One Million Lovely Letters here :-)http://onemillionlovelyletters.com/

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Rachie goes to the Zoo!

This week, I went to the Edinburgh Zoo with James as part of his birthday.
I've been to Monkey World in Dorset, which is a bit like a zoo, except it specialises in Monkeys and I've been to the Botanic Gardens in Southport which has a pretty cool aviary, but this was my first zoo.

I initially started the day off a little bit sad as I learned I didn't get a job I had been to an interview for the week before but after some chocolate and a cooked breakfast I was right as rain and good to go!

Aside from the fact it's mostly uphill, the zoo was really fun!

The Koalas were asleep and the only Panda that was at the viewing part of the enclosure was lying down having some dinner so I didn't manage to get many pictures of those.

As well as the monkeys, I think my favourites were the penguins and the meerkats!

Before we went home, we stopped by Krispy Kreme for a few doughnuts, which were seriously epic! Awesome day!



 

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Quirky Reads: The Fault in Our Stars

Rachie's Musings on: The Fault in Our Stars

When The Fault In Our Stars was published in 2012, I was still at uni and in my ‘not reading books unless it is to quote and stick in an essay/dissertation’ phase so this little beauty passed me by.

As time went on I became aware of its existence because it was being turned into a movie.  Despite being aware of the ending in advance because….the internet exists, I decided I wanted to read the book before seeing the film just to see what all the fuss was about.

I read the book in three days, only putting it down to sleep because my eyes couldn’t stay open any more, I was gripped straight away.

On first impressions  you’d probably think it’s a teenage love story but The Fault In Our Stars is so much more than that. Not only is it laugh out loud funny, witty and heart-breaking all at once, but it’s also honest. Life isn’t always fair and it doesn’t always work out the way we hope it will and The Fault In Our Stars isn’t afraid to hit you right in the face with that.    

The Fault In Our Stars also reminds me that just because the odds are against you doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy  and cherish every second life gives you.

I’ve deliberately tried not to go into much detail on the story because a) the internet exists and I’d simply be reiterating what already exists and b) I’d be taking away the joy of reading the story for yourself from anyone who hasn’t read it.

Now that I’ve read the book, I finally got round to watching the film, not so I could compare the two but just to see it brought to life and the characters were just like I pictured them in my head, that almost never happens! :-)

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Quirky Reads: Billy and Me by Giovanna Fletcher

Rachie's Musings on: Billy and Me by Giovanna Fletcher


Billy and Me very quickly became one of my favourite books that I’ve read.

 It is, as you would expect from the title, a love story about how girl meets boy but to me it’s a lot more special than just that.

When I read Billy and Me, I felt as though Sophie, the ‘Me’ in Billy and Me, was speaking directly to me, I felt as though I wasn’t reading this story, I was sitting in a coffee shop somewhere, listening to my friend tell me all about this great guy she has met and all the adventures they have been on so far.

Sophie appealed to me because I could relate to her. She’s roughly my age or thereabouts, her mum works in a library (so does mine!) she’s unassuming, she dislikes rudeness and gossip, she was unsure of what she wanted to do with her life and found something she was good at by accident and most importantly, she works in a teashop and bakes cake every day – cake is my happy place!

I won’t delve too much into Billy or the story because that would spoil it for anyone that wants to read it themselves – if you are into this kind of genre, you absolutely should read it because its awesome!

A really funny and cute read that left me feeling warm and fuzzy – and hungry for cake.
I think I’ll hunt down some more Giovanna reads, she just released a book called Dream a Little Dream so I think I may make that my next :-)

I originally wrote this post on an older blog I had, before editing it slightly and posting it here, I'm going to start moving all of my old book reviews and maybe scheduling them for like once a week across the summer or something like that so I can have everything in one place :-)

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Things That Make Rachie Smile.

Happy is pretty much my favourite mood to be in. I can at times be a bit of a Pollyanna (if you aren't familiar with Pollyanna, it's a novel by Eleanor H. Porter about an eternally optimistic young girl who moves in with her grumpy aunt when her parents die and spends her days looking for reasons to find the 'happy' in every situation. Oh and Hayley Mills plays her in the 1960 movie and is awesome!).

I like being a bit of a Pollyanna, but sometimes even I can be a bit of a Grumpasaurus.

Since the latter half of last year I've been filling the pages of my London Underground notebook (from Paperchase) with Happy Lists or as I call them - 'Things that Make Rachie Smile'.

I noticed Carrie Hope Fletcher (You can read my musings on her recently published book here - you can also find her blog here) put some on her blog and I thought it was a good idea and might be therapeutic on days when I feel a little less than happy to think about the things that have made me smile recently.

Sometimes the content can vary depending on whether or not I recently bought shoes, if someone recently gave me cake or went to the Disney Store with me - yes I know, 26 and still love Disney - it's allowed! I hope :-) but they are generally full of random simple things.

It does actually make me smile on a day when I'm feeling sorry for myself or a bit grumpy to think of all the things I could be smiling about or feeling lucky for.

Here is my most recent.

Also - the weird shapes all over the page are meant be smiles - I am a really bad drawer! Haha.

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choosing the right words :-)

Choosing the Right Words :-) 


I haven't blogged in a while, mostly because I've had fairly little to talk about and I don't want to ramble on for the sake of rambling!  

Choosing words carefully is pretty important. Choosing the right words can make all the difference between getting your thoughts out correctly and causing offence.  Choosing the right words can make the difference between delivering a joke properly and hurting someone's feeling. Choosing words carefully can also make all the difference in starting a conversation with someone - word it wrong and you may find the conversation goes awry pretty quickly. 

Conversation starters can be tricky things, they often require consideration, but I find us humans have a tendency to speak too quickly in order to fill up dreaded awkward silences.

I've noticed lately that there are occasions when people try to start conversations with me they immediately base their topic on some element of my appearance.  I completely understand why - my hair is postbox red, I wear kitsch/novelty jewellery and my wardrobe choices are often colourful. 

Although unintentional, my appearance lends itself to conversation starters, which whilst I can feel a bit insecure, is something I've gotten used to.

It's fine if it's something like 

"Those earrings are really different, where did you get them?" 

"Can you walk in those shoes?" 

A question or comment that comes out of genuine curiosity and interest is fine, I don't mind people drawing attention to my appearance in that kind of circumstance.

I do mind, however, when a comment or question is designed to make me feel inferior or insecure about myself.  There have been times when I've worn something like a stripey pair of jeans which have invited a comment from someone asking the person I was speaking to if they would wear something that weird, in order to hear them say no and reinforce how weird my outfit choice is. 

On my birthday this year, I got the following comment on my coat, which is green, has a bow on the back and nips in at the waist before flowing back out again - fairly standard coat, I thought.

Commenter: I might have known that was your coat.

Me: Why is that?

Commenter: It's weird, just the style and the colour, no one else would wear it so it had to be yours. 

Comments like that are not usually designed to be horrible or hurtful, but there are times when a poorly worded sentence can be quite hurtful. On that particular day I think what they were trying to say was

 "I thought it was unusual, so through a process of elimination, I figured you were the most likely owner" 

However what it sounded like was

 "This looks weird and no one else would wear it, so it must be yours"

Whilst I am over sensitive, and know it, choosing words carefully is important. 

Also while I am on the subject of appearance - there is more to humans than what they look like.

We are complex, living, breathing, feeling humans, we are more than just an outside shell.

Some people have more dazzling shells than others, some people have more polished shells, some people have rougher shells that have been through a little more upheaval and relocation, some people have shells that are a bit beaten and cracked. 

The shell is not the important thing!!! 

Appearances are great and a great way to express yourself, but you are more than your appearance, don't let other people make you feel like your appearance is all there is. 

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