New Beginnings.

It's been a little while since I last put anything on my blog, reality sort of took over at some point in February and all of a sudden I looked up and it was nearly the end of April!

Although not much has changed in the last few months, in some ways, lots of things have changed for me. 

Just a few months ago, almost all of my posts were quite focused on how crappy I was feeling about struggling to find a job of any sort, let alone one that ties in with my degree, I was going for interview after interview and getting nowhere fast.  I kind of reached a stage where with every no thank you, came a metaphorical kick to the stomach or a crying session.

Then one day at the end of February - something clicked - someone said yes and in March I started a new job and one that uses my degree.  I'm loving learning all about my new role and the place I work.  I'm a much happier Rachie in that respect.  Gone is the feeling of worthlessness, the feeling of failure and in its place is a whole new sense of excitement.

I'm hoping I can take this feeling and channel it towards injecting a new lease of life into my blog.  I started it as a bit of self therapy and slowly adapted it into a bit of a hub of general Rachie-ness.  Which is fine, except somewhere in the middle it became self therapy again and got a bit heavy.  There is nothing wrong with expressing my feelings or using my blog to do so, I just don't want it to become my dumping ground for everything rubbish I feel.

So I've decided I want to set myself a bit of a schedule of fun - more book reviews, I haven't properly opened a book in a while and I'd like to change that.  

I wanna take my blog on some journeys with me and more importantly I wanna have some more journeys.  They don't have to be far traveled expeditions they just have to be new and fun. 

The other thing that's changed for me since the last time I posted is that I've aged.  Last week I had a birthday and it stirred a bit of a change in me.  I don't mean that now that I'm 27 I'm going to suddenly start changing everything about myself but its instilled a need for a little bit of confidence in me.

A few weeks ago I was mildly irked because I was in a situation where I was the youngest looking person in the room and it had a definite impact on the tone of voice and manner that people had when interacting with me.  Not in a horrible way, if anything it was encouraging and kind - but it also made me feel like I was a child.

While I still sort of thrive on the feeling that the 'proper grown ups' will look after me and make sure I'm safe, I need to recognise and remember that I'm one of them, even if at times others don't.
I don't think I'll ever be 27 going on 47, if anything I'm 27 going on 17 but I need to learn to identify the times to remember I'm a lot closer to 30 than I am to 20.

It's a work in progress. 

Today's Shoes

This is a bit of a blurry picture but these beauties were a birthday present from James.
They are Vans Slip Ons and I adore them!
Especially the purple check pattern which kinda matches my recently dyed purple hair.
I haven't worn them outta the house yet as I only got them yesterday and I'm still wearing them in but I look forward to taking them on their first excursion soon. 

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My Favourite Things: February

I'm not sure how interesting my post about my favourite things in January actually was for anyone who read it, 

but I enjoyed writing it so I decided to do it again this month....or again this month lol. 

It was kind of cathartic, not only to focus on some positive thought but also to reflect on how fortunate I am in times when I feel a bit sorry for myself - I have a lifestyle that allows me to have favourite possessions - I don't take that for granted.

I've linked to them where I can in case anyone is interested.

Clothes 

February was the month of skirts - I've acquired two this month! 

And they both have pockets!!! I love pockets!!! Pockets!!!

This little beauty came from Cath Kidston,
I really like Cath Kidston stuff but some of it can be a little out of my price range so I my purchases there are generally now and again - this was an early birthday present from Mum. The print reminded me of London - I've been a few times with my friend but I've never actually been to the Palace so I've never seen a Palace Guard up close but I figured this was the next best thing! 

This skirt is a Hell Bunny skirt and I absolutely adore it, I have another two skirts this length, one is pink with black polkadots and the other is black with zombie pin-up girls.  It does all the right things to make me feel comfortable and pretty and has a 50s vibe to the cut that goes well with my shape. 

The circus themed print is really fun and colourful!
My phone camera hasn't done it justice at all but its beautiful.

Feeeeet!

Yes - these are socks, I like socks. Socks and me go way back.
However, socks can be a massive annoyance to me, once you wash them they go a bit stiff and dry and start to lose a little of their comfort with each wear.  I bought these a few days ago in Accessorize when the socks I had on were catching on my shoes and causing my shoes to dig into my heels - ain't nobody got time for that!  When I bought these they instantly felt like my feet had met their sock soul mate. Yes, that's a weird sentence - do I care? Nope. 

Books

The Ladybird Book of The Hipster by J.A HAZELEY and J.P MORRIS - this book is part of a recently released series of Ladybird books aimed at grownups. 

 As a kid I was read a lot of ladybird books that I really enjoyed.  This series pokes fun at some topical things in the modern day but in keeping with the style of writing in the ladybird books I read as a child.  I found it really funny and would definitely read some of the others in the series. 

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Dear Wee Rachie: Learn to say no.

Dear Wee Rachel, 

Learn to say no.

No is a great word, use it! You are great at using it! Whether it’s your brother asking if he can use your room to watch TV (the TV you have in there right now is pants, so for context, you end up with Gran Brown’s big ass telly at some point, never mind why) or Mum asking if you have or will tidy your room. 

At some point over the years, I can’t really remember when, you develop this compulsive need to please people, to have them think that you are effortlessly nice and will always say yes and find a way to help them if you can.  Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not a bad way to be but sometimes Rachel, I could have kicked you hard in the face with a thousand stilettos - you’ll never own any because you’d break your neck and you’d look like an idiot, but that’s irrelevant. 

Saying yes is fine, being nice is a fantastic thing to be, but this fear of saying no is not even close to being acceptable.   

People will still like you even if you say no, you don’t need to let Mark and Toto (don’t even get me started on the stupid nicknames the kids you spent your days with at school had) talk you into letting them have the money you brought with you for lunch, what the hell are you going to buy lunch with? No wonder you have no energy and fall asleep in class, you muppet! 

They aren’t bullying you – they like you, but don’t think for a second they aren’t taking advantage of the fact you don’t like saying no.

You don’t need to carry Jamie and Graeme’s English work in your bag every day because they have dirty P.E kits in their bag,  if they have messy essays that’s their problem, tell them no! 

You don’t need to supply everyone in your class with a pen just because they asked you and they know you have enough pens to start a sustainable stationary business. Of course they’ll like you, you’ll be Pen Girl and Pen Girl is a cool thing to be (I’m sorry, it doesn’t come with a cape, in hindsight that would have been epic – sorry!) but when you reach the stage of allowing literally every single person in your English class borrow a pen from you on a daily basis because you don’t want to say no, you are letting people abuse your kindness and walk all over you.

There are probably other slightly more important examples in your upcoming future of when you really should have said no but I won't give you a hard time for those - screw ups are part of how you learn not to be an asshat.

I get it, I really do! You are afraid if you say no people won’t like you or want to be your friend or think you are nice or think you are 'socially acceptable'. 
I want to impress upon you that saying yes doesn’t make a damn bit of difference! 

There will still be people who dislike you, get used to it.   There will be people who think you aren’t a nice person, so what? 

 Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do or it will turn you into someone you don’t want to be.  Start saying no to things you don’t want to do and become the person you do want to be. 

The people worth having in your life will still like you, the people who know you will like you for you - whether you say yes or no.

It’s not all bad, sometimes not saying no when you want to works out great, you didn’t really want to say yes when Gillian asked if you wanted to help out at youth club and it’s one of the best things you ever said yes to.

P.S – Wear what you want! I’m not suggesting you should turn up to your Gran's house in an outfit made from barbed wire and a dustbin but don’t save your stripey socks or funky shoes for a day when you won’t be in a class with any dumbasses, dress like you! 

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My Favourite Things: January

I've been singing a lot of songs from The Sound of Music over the week or so as it seems to be the only thing that settles my baby nephew Harry when I'm looking after him. 
That's possibly his way of saying 'Okay Auntie Rachie, if you stop singing....I'll go for a snooze!'

Seeing as 'My Favourite Things' has been going round my head on a loop it gave me some inspiration  to do a blog post on some of the things I've discovered in the month of January that I've really enjoyed. 

Yes, I know it is February......but I'm only a day late! 

 I don't know if it's something I'll do more of, I'll see how I feel, I thought it would be a good way to mix 'feel good' with doing something productive like writing. 

Food and Drink

Caveman Cookies

I came across these by chance while browsing my local Wholefoods for some Dairy Free snackage and was pleasantly surprised.  The idea behind them being that the ingredients were all materials available to cavemen so no flour, no milk, no sugar......what some of them do have is nuts, which is fine for me, but probably not for someone with an allergy to nuts.
Nice soft consistency and just enough to satisfy my hunger!

Rebel Kitchen Banana Mylk

Again I came across a box of these by chance in Wholefoods and was curious enough to buy one!

As the packing suggests, it's probably aimed at a young persons perhaps for putting in a lunch box but there's nothing to suggest a 26 year old can't enjoy a nice drink of Banana and Coconut Milk through a straw!

They do have other flavours but my taste buds were more attracted to the Banana!

Shoes

These were a Christmas present from my Mum but they turned up in January so I've been treating them as New Year Shoes.  I adore the cats print!
They are comfy and cute! I'll go into more of a description when I put them in a Shoe Diary Post.

Clothes 

This isn't a spectacular picture but I am loving this cape by Banned!

It originally came with a detachable faux fur collar but I wasn't too keen on it... so I detatched it!

Love the colour and it's super comfy! 
I have a green coat which is also made by Banned, it's longer and more tailored but because I love it so much I knew I'd feel the same about this.

I'll hopefully get a fair bit of wear out of it before the warm weather reappears.

Blogs 

http://www.braintreeclothing.com/blog/

I like to read blogs and I recently discovered this one........Brain Tree are a fashion label but they also run a really interesting and positive blog, filled with tips for improving your lifestyle, home improvement, relaxation etc.  After looking at just a few posts, I already felt a bit more positive about my day - which is sort of the effect I'd like this blog to have for others.

Their clothes and accessories are really nice too.....

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Goodbye January, Hello Rachie.

Cards on the table....I've been a bit of a misery guts for the past few weeks.  

I feel like for most of January, my personality has been somewhat switched off.

I'm not really sure why.  I don't know if the job hunt is getting me down, if I'm spending too much time indoors and on the computer.
 It might be the lack of chocolate in my diet, it could be the countless hours of reality TV my eyes have witnessed over the month of January - but what I am sure of is that I need to snap out of it.

For someone who talks a lot about being positive and looking for the sunshine, I haven't done a whole lot of it lately.  

It's possible that's down to the fact its currently winter in Scotland and the sun is currently shielded by an abundance of rain filled clouds - that doesn't actually sound too dissimilar to the description of summer in Scotland, but at least it's usually a little brighter!

January is gone, well at time of typing its the 30th so there is still a day to go, but the month is basically at an end.  

I've decided that as this month draws to a close - with the exception of times when I need to let sad feelings happen - I've used up all my moping around time for the year.

I've decided in order to kick start my 2016 kick up the bum, I am going to give myself some hopefully achievable goals.
Some to aid me in my job search, some to aid me in keeping myself chipper when not doing something application or interview related. 

• Pick up a new hobby, I have an entire box of origami cranes, bats, cats and swans - its a fun hobby, its one I can do anywhere, I once made 10 cranes while waiting to go into an interview from some post it notes in my bag - however, if I overdo the origami thing all the time, its going to get tiresome and boring for me.  I enjoy baking and making things like banana jam, but realistically I can't do those everyday or I'd be eternally full to the brim with sugar, so I need to find something else to capture my attention and pass my time. Maybe crochet, crosstich, jewelry making, I don't know yet. 
  Suggestions are welcome.

• Last year I wrote a blog post about doing One Scary Thing Every Day  and somewhere over the last few months, I've let that slide.  Maybe I felt I had gotten to a stage where my nerves weren't holding me back quite the same, I don't know but I feel its time I start embracing the mission again, whether its something small like volunteering to make dinner (I'm not exactly experienced in the kitchen), saying no to something I don't want to do rather than doing it, feeling miserable and wishing I'd said no.  James is forever telling me that controlled fear is a good thing - its usually when he's trying to convince me to go on some terrifying ride like a roller coaster or something equally scary that goes upside down but he does have a point. I can't live in the safety of my bubble 24/7 or my world will become very sheltered very quickly.
  
  
• Find one enjoyable thing to take away from each interview, whether it's knowing I did well even if I didn't get the job, if someone who works there was kind and gave me a free pen, if the someone on the panel complimented my coat (those last two actually happened on separate occasions and both were pretty cool) if I made the interview panel laugh - in a good way. 
  I need to stop coming away from these things and once I hear back feeling like it's just another thing to cross off the list of things that didn't work out. Whether or not I get the jobs I go for, I need to start treating interviews as enjoyable experiences to take something fun away from. 

• I like to write.  I need to do this more. Whether that is in blog posts, poems, letters, stories, happy lists. 
  It's a skill I have and in the career path I want to follow, its an essential one, so I need to need to keep it active. Maybe it will help me find that full time job that seems out of reach, maybe it won't. Maybe it'll help me process things better, maybe it won't but its definitely something I need to keep doing.

• Go outdoors.  Spend more time with James, spend more time with my friends - ask them to do something cheap or free while money is a concern. Take a book to the park - weather permitting, it is winter. Do things that involve leaving the house for more than the few hours a week that come with long standing routine.

Today's Shoes

Technically, these shoes are slippers.

But they are what is on my feet today and I decided for the purposes of this blog post they can be shoes as I haven't done a shoe diary post since last summer and I'd like to correct that.

These Bunny Slippers were a Christmas present and I think they came from Next, I'm not sure if they still have them but they have a cute pair of bear slippers that are pretty similar.

The cake and cat trousers came from H&M  - seeing as they are on display in the picture!

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Dear Wee Rachie: Sleep is a beautiful thing.

Dear Wee Rachel, 

Sleep is a beautiful thing!

You don’t realise it right now, but you have this amazing ability to sleep at night, to just switch off your brain, lie down and sleep.  Sometimes your head might be full of crap that finds its way into your dreams but the actual sleeping part you have down to a tee. 

In a few years, sleep will seem like a story, a fairy-tale like Cinderella or Snow White (I thought Sleeping Beauty would be a cruel example, but hey, at least that bitch got some sleep!).

I don’t know why sleeping became a problem, it might be the fizzy juice that you drink (I know you love Irn Bru, but your insides are probably orange by now, cut down a bit!) it could be all the time you spend in front of the computer, the TV or your phone (FYI, phones are cooler in the future, but bloody expensive!).  Whatever it was, it became an issue and it’s one you’ll fight for a while, I’m still fighting it now.

I’m writing you this letter because I’m struggling to fall asleep and I don’t want you to grow up, become me and spend your life wanting to sleep.  Sometimes my brain is full of too many things to settle; sometimes the slightest little noise will wake me up.

You have no idea how much this will affect you when you are my age.  Sure it’s fine to snooze through Mr Kershaw’s Maths class (you get a free pass on that one because he likes that you have a smart mouth and knows you’re not a moron) but you really need to start taking better care to get sleep at night.

What I want you to do from now on is keep a notebook next to your bed, write down all the thoughts that are in your head when you sleep, hopes, fears, dreams, things that scare you and let them all out.  Start going to bed earlier or set a consistent time so your body knows it’s time to sleep.  Come up with your own ideas, but please do something. 

P.S – It turns out you don’t like the taste mint very much - mild is fine, strong is yuck, look out for alternative toothpastes, that way I won’t have to listen to your dentist when she moans or ‘accidentally’ (gently) bite her when she pisses me off! 

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Dairy Free Empties: Chocolate

I've seen a few people on Youtube do lifestyle/product 'empties' videos where they show the empty packaging and talk about the product they bought and whether they enjoyed it, the pros/cons etc

I'm fairly new to the whole 'dairy free' thing but thought I would give it a try for some dairy free products I've been using since cutting out dairy and getting a firm answer on the whole 'milk makes me ill' thing.  I live in the Scotland, so I'm not sure what the availability of everything I've mentioned is like further afield than the UK.  If you know of any brands or products I haven't mentioned - feel free to suggest in the comments! 

It might work as an interesting blog post or it might be crap but I figured I'd go with it!

Rather than focus on every dairy free product I've tried I thought I'd focus on the main things I've really been missing!  
I might do some more posts focusing on specific things but the first thing I'm gonna focus on is.....

Chocolate

My real weakness in life is chocolate. I love milk chocolate, I'm not massively in love with all plain chocolate, I feel it can have a bit of a dry taste depending on the brand and some (not all) dark chocolate on the shelves has a little bit of milk in the ingredients so for the last few months I've really been missing chocolate!

I discovered there are actually lots of dairy free alternatives to chocolate that taste like milk chocolate!

The main one I've used so far is
Moo Free Chocolate.

Moo Free comes in a variety of flavours, some larger bars and some smaller bars known as Mini Moos. They are made from rice milk which gives them a nice creamy taste.

The empties I have here are two of the chocolates I got in my Moo Free Mini Moo selection box from my mum at Christmas.

These were the Minty Moo and Cheeky Orange flavoured bars.

There was also a chocolate Santa bar and a honeycomb (bunnycomb) flavoured - but they were eaten before I thought about doing this post!

The good thing about Moo Free is that as well as being dairy free, they are also gluten free, wheat free and lactose free and suitable for vegans - which makes them suitable for a variety of specialty diets - although I don't know if they are suitable for every specialty diet.

I really enjoyed all of the chocolates in the box but I think my favourite was the Cheeky Orange Bar. I'm a massive fan of Chocolate Orange but I find most brands can be a bit too rich tasting for me and this bar really locked in all the flavour while being light.

Alpro Chocolate Desert

 

Alpro have a nice range of desserts in a range of flavours such as Caramel, Vanilla and Dark Chocolate but I started off with the Silky Smooth Chocolate.
Made primarily from Soya and Cocoa amongst other ingredients I found the the chocolate had a really nice and creamy texture and was somewhere in the middle of a yoghurt and custard in terms of consistency.  It was quite a nice chocolate hit without being too sweet.
They come in 4 small individual portions which means there is just enough of it to be filling but not so much that it's over indulgent.
I might try the dark chocolate next time, but definitely enjoyed the silky smooth.

Humdinger Dairy Free Chocolate Buttons

I recently discovered these chocolate buttons by chance and picked a packet up to try them. 
They initially tasted very sweet but as I progressed through the packet I focused more on the chocolate-y taste.
I like that they come in a small packet as I don't think I could handle too many at once as they are quite rich in taste.
Very tasty though, I've made a fair few repeat purchases.


Plamil Chocolate 

Technically, this empty is the chocolate snowmen from their Christmas range but having already tasted one of their bars, I can safely say they taste the same!
I haven't tried as much of Plamil's chocolate yet but I've enjoyed what I've tried so far.
Taste wise it reminded me a little bit of cooking chocolate, which isn't a bad thing, I like cooking chocolate!

They also do a range of other products like chocolate spread which I have tried and it's awesome but the jar isn't empty yet so I've cheated slightly and included it anyway!

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